Conviction

Are you convinced enough?

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Writing is a compulsive thing for many of us and having been in the blogosphere for quite some time I’ve got a good idea about the struggles and turmoil others like me face. For some the trouble is with the starting, for some with the editing and for some it is commitment to get the writing completed.

As for me, I seem to suffer from the disease of not being convinced ever. Perhaps it has got to do with achieving that standard of perfection I cannot do without that. But it doesn’t take any human more than two years of life to realize that perfection is a total illusion, and thus cannot be attained. It doesn’t stop me from aspiring for it though. So I feel like this little peanut trying to jump of the sphere of the planet just looking at the perfectly lined edge at horizon.

Thus far it has been one endless search for that perfect story to commit to. I do write a lot of short pieces and some fragments of story from a larger novel that I have in mind but never have I been able to work with conviction with one story. After having reflected on this quite a bit, I find the problem is more to do with my notions of what is good and not than the actual substance that the idea carries.

I have realized I have just come to be one scared explorer. And that completely beats the point of writing which is essentially a process of discovery. Now I look back with admiration and yearning at those early years, where I recklessly wrote absolutely anything that struck me. And those were happy and fulfilling days indeed.

I find I’m not alone on this front for I have heard several artists talk about grappling with the loss of innocence in their art. As you grow and learn more about the details of your art you tend to watch out for them with open eyes. But you are actually shutting out the big picture from view which is the sole motivation and purpose that got you into it. It is a case of losing perspective of sorts I suppose.

I’m trying to cope up with this new inertial halt and hopefully I’ll gain some momentum soon. What with the New Year, there is definitely a lot more to discover and experience to propel my pursuits forward.

And lovely readers tell me; do you suffer from the same problem of trying to attain an illusory standard in your own field? How do you tackle it and get going with your work other than the brute force approach?